Location Writing Pt.1

For 42 minutes I wrote in a nice park with a big open space that faded into a deep forest. There was one family there but they left after a few minutes.  I could hear the river running below me and the hundreds of different kinds of plants were green and blowing in a slight breeze around me. One of my favorite sounds was the faint train horn, that I decided would be a wonderful sound to put in a story. The story I worked on was of course The Ones in Silver, Though I am having some trouble moving the plot along.


Here is a small bit of the story that I wrote while in this location. 

As we sat at the picnic table I dared a question that had been brewing in my mind. 
"Anybody ever tried to escape?" I ask.
The chatter in my small group falls silent in a sudden hush and all eyes fall upon me. Emory sets her cold spaghetti down on the picnic table as if preparing to give me an important life lesson. 
"Yes." Jax answers before she could. 
From the look on her face she didn't enjoy the answer he had given. 
"His name was Mitch Kaldera. He thought he was a total pro at anything and everything." Ashton states, prodding at his burrito with a plastic fork. I could tell he had known the boy and hadn't taken a liking to him. 
"What happened?" I push the conversation.
"He-"
Emory jumps up and covers Ashtons mouth.
"We don't want to scare her even more!" She says quickly.
I was already a little uneasy. . .


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

***This Sentence Pt.2***

**** Here is another sentence from my story! If you've got time it would be awesome if you could give me some feedback on how the sentence makes you feel or if it might be a good hook. "I didn’t like lying, and I didn’t like believing something that wasn’t true, but I had to if I was ever going to get out of here." How does this sentence make you feel? Does it pull you in? What does this make you think of the character? What do you think is going on? ****
Read more

Does this hook you in?

Does this snippet pull you in? Would you want to read more? Or wonder what story this is from? “But we don't know the situation.” I say, I knew that I wasn’t really helping. She let’s out a deep breath as if she’d been holding it, it sounded slightly agitated. Another moment of silence, this whole things was one big confusing mess. Were these people brainwashed and somehow I wasn’t? To release these uneasy thoughts I stand and walk over to the fridge, I open it and pull out two Ginger Sparkling Waters and pop them open. The fridge closes automatically behind me and I set a Water down on the coffee table in front of Emory’s processing mind. I seat myself, perch myself on my arms that were wrapped around my knees and watch the bubbles rise quickly to the top of the bottle every few seconds. Only after a while of losing myself in my own thoughts did I realize the water had started vibrating on the top, pulses, as if something big was stomping around just outside. Furrowing my bro
Read more

sneak peek on my story- The Ones in Silver 6/14/17

*** I had only 5 minutes, my heart racing so fast it drained out the sound of the other’s screams and the loud purr of the machines around me. I grip my pistol tight in my hands but it shook in my sweaty palms. The footsteps gain behind me and I smirk at their presence. I duck under the large pipe hanging from the ceiling and roll onto the ground to support my fall. Two cardboard cutouts of men with guns pop out and my reflex kicks in, the pistol jumping back in my hands as the bullets pierce the place where their hearts would be. The white blinding strobe lights and the fog machine causes my mind to race. I could feel the smoke filling my lungs but I hold back a painful cough. I hold in my breath as I travel through the blinding room, dodging the obstacles that stuck out of the wall and from the ground. I hear squeals of those who had failed and either gotten knocked out or injured by the desperateness someone else. This was the real test, this was it. I feel someone on my heels. I h
Read more